Gay man here with a question about topping. I was a top with my college boyfriend but switched to being mostly a bottom in my early 20s. I’m in my late 30s now, and recently got out of a decade-long relationship, so I’ve been doing a lot of exploring and rediscovering what I want in bed. While I’m very experienced as a bottom, I feel a bit like a fish out of water when I’m topping. The guys I’ve fucked have all been very complimentary, so it doesn’t seem to be a problem with my technique, but it’s just not as intense for me. Also, I’m uncut and I find that if I’m pushing deep inside someone then my foreskin pulls all the way back while I’m inside to the point that it hurts. Should I just accept that topping isn’t for me? (This is especially a problem when a guy rides me.) I’m with a new boyfriend who has enjoyed bottoming for me, but all of this is kind of playing with my head so I can’t just relax and enjoy myself when topping. You could accept that topping isn’t for you and swear off topping forever… but that seems a little dramatic, SOFT, and a whole lot drastic.
How about accepting this instead: while you prefer bottoming to topping and your orgasms are better when you bottom, you also enjoy topping occasionally, so long as you don’t push too far in and/or get ridden too hard.
